Misterys Of Life

Count Your Farts

C’mon people, don’t be shy. You need to count those farts. Realistically speaking, it is human nature to fart. Everyone does it. Everyone emits gas except probably…nah. Spare me the butts. But, what we all want to know is just how cow-like are you in your production?

Today, or whenever you are embarking on this aromatic activity, keep a rough numerical tally to ascertain if your methane generation falls within statistical norms, or if you pose a particular danger to the ozone layer. (You foul beast!)

For your reference:

MEN: 50cm3(9 emissions) WOMEN: 20cm3 (4 emissions)

Do report any unusual emission to the Ministry of Environment to ascertain the real dangers you pose. Do your part in saving the world!

Credit should go to the authors of THIS DIARY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE for allowing me to share these wonderful activities with you.

I caught X-Men - The Last Stand a few days ago. I must admit that the special effects were fabulously amazing. After sitting through the entire movie, I found myself trying hard to flex my muscles to see if I can induce any mutant like power from within. Bah!

Then it suddenly dawned on me. Are we not seeing mutations even withing our midst? Ok ok ,let me explain. Let us try to envision the society, no no you don’t really have to look far. Take Singapore for example, maybe forty years ago. Most probably, the society you see then would have mirrored a totally different mindset, ethics and way of life then what we are experiencing today. Look around us .People are undergoing changes, and I’m not talking about the advancements in technology, the growth in economy. No, no. I am talking about the disgustingly filthy way we are running our social life now. No basic courtesy, no empathy for those less-fortunates. My god, I was walking along Orchard Road last week when I a lady tripped and fell kneeling on e curb opposite Paragon. Everybody, less me and my friend, were just staring at her, without even bothering to assist that poor lady get up on her feet. And mind you she was not local. Both of us had to literally pick her up and walk with her to the nearest bench.

My god those mutated monsters just irked me. If this is what economic growth and societal advancement has in store for us, I’d rather not have it at all.

GET A HOBBY!

Today is the first day of your new hobby. Choose from one or several of the following or use that head of yours to cough up something! Look up the webby for a comprehensive introduction to this exciting and soon-to-be life long passion of yours. Remember; Your Choice, Your Passion.

List of Suggested Activities

1. Count other people’s teeth (you can look for the design you like; yellowed ones, protuding ones…)
2. Attempt to grow another toe (or thumb (s) if you want a challenge!
3. Try hard to forget everything you have learnt in school.
4. Record birds singing (dogs howling blah blah blah) and turn them into hit songs.
5. Attempt to make gold out of dough. (WOW!)
6. Set fire to all black shoes.
7. Cultivate pimples around your mouth.
8. Build a houseboat.

Credit should go to the authors of THIS DIARY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE for allowing me to share wonderful activities with you.

I came across this mind-blowing diary not two years ago at Kino. I know,  i know you must be wondering; 2 years? What the?!? I never did look at this diary after I paid for it. I only came to really know how mind-blowing, pants-scorching, eye-popping it was after I found the diary in my cupboard a few days ago and started to read it; I mean really read it. Hahaha! Kudos to the freaks who started out this radical nonsense. I love it. I’m usually busy with work and family but this hols, I have decided to feed my time, and brain, and yours too if u dun mind with seemingly stupid but interesting activities. Thanks to Benrik (Ben Carey & Henrik Delehag of BENRIK LIMITED for THIS DIARY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE (2004/05/06)

Chew and Chomp on it people!

P/S: Will be posting activities regularly, do check it out. Some of it are really funny!!

We can never run away from the trials and tribulations of life. Never have I thought that I would have to go through my life the way it is now. I have my idealistic, almost Utopian thoughts about how my life should be like. But the change I was forced to go through has somewhat transformed me. I’m not sure if that word or any word at all can sum up dis experience.. No doubt it was tough, having to stay professional at work, be as cheerful around frens and then being a responsible and strong person at home. The emotional demands were tearing me apart. I desperately need somone whom I can talk to - whine and sigh and cry- but hey..its not easy to find a person who’s willing to do that.. there is a Malay saying that goes something like this "Kawan ketawa ramai, kawan menangis susah nak cari" But things are looking up now, wea re picking up our life and trying hard to run it well once again. Things will never be the same trust me on that. But the changes will mould us into stronger individuals, more empathetic ones, willful but compassionate. With God’s will…

First and foremost, I have no idea why I’m doing this; yeah i mean to even bother posting my thoughts … REALLY… I mean hey what can be more ironic then posting your InNERMOSt thoughts (which btw implies that the thoughts are to be Kept INSIDE your minD) online and Letting e Entire world into youR priVate enclave. But then again, if we are talking about alternative channels to chase away those awful memories; heart breaking, thought wrenching, brain-twisting feelings that nobody wants to have anything to do with, this is definitely it! It then dawned upon me that I too can tap on this wonderful creation. To pour whatever I need to onto this space and share them with the rest of the world to chew on. Who knows, my blog can actually be more effective than any stress-relieving GURUs/gadgets available in the market in helping me cope with the Evils of life. AAAhhhh…the wonders of technology. Never cease to Impress e brains out of Me. Oh yes, I thought Id share this wonderful piece of POem just to get things Started..

Dear God, I beg u To…

give me e wisdom to understand them

give me e Love to forgive them

give me e patience to withstand them

But dear God, Don’t present me with strength

Because if you give me strength…

I would break their SkullS!!